Deedee

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   <label>First Appearance</label>
 

</infobox> Deedee, or just Dee, is a goblin in a unique situation.

Personality

Self reports that she is a long-lived and successful goblin and knows how to operate in that community. She does not know human society nearly as well and sometimes struggles to adapt. The reason she does this is due to her genuine love for Ben. A love that surprises many others. As a goblin she is fairly abrasive, making it difficult for non-goblin people to get along with her.

Trying to share interests and enjoys spending time with him and has cultivated an interest in non-goblin things like grooming.

Spends her time being a bump in the night, creeping into homes to scare children when she was younger.<ref>“I’ve made something of a career out of being a bump in the night,” Dee said.  “Bothering kids and shit.”- Excerpt from Gone and Done It 17.9</ref> She makes a living by steal from the houses she breaks into, she also creates fear batteries.<ref>“How do you make a living?”

“Stealing stuff on the side, or bank up a little fear into some battery trinkets…”- Excerpt from Gone and Done It 17.9</ref> During her work she often comes across domestic violence or abusive parents.<ref>Tatty put her hands on her hips.  “Toadswallow says the reason Dee here does all that is so she can be close to people.  Shake things up and deal with people who give kids a hard time, or hurt their spouses.”- Excerpt from Gone and Done It 17.9</ref>

Relationships

Ben

She's currently in a relationship with Benjamin Trover, he wishes to get married but Deedee was initially oblivious to his desires.<ref>and this one time, he was like, what would you think about gettin’ married sometime down the line?  And obviously when a practitioner asks a question that wild, it’s just- Excerpt from Gone and Done It 17.9</ref> Depending on how one interprets Snowdrop they may be married.

Sir Turdswallow and Bubble

Friends with the couple, since they were both must younger,<ref>“Toadswallow’s acquaintances. He grew up in the same Warrens neighborhood as Deedee, she helped out with the initial Musserite invasion. I didn’t get a ton of chances to talk to her.”

“She worked as a bump in the night, scaring kids from under beds,” Verona said.

“I’m not sure if it’s just tonight’s mood but I’m really tempted to be sarcastic,” Lucy said. - Excerpt from In Absentia 21.1</ref> even gave TS important career advice.<ref name=":8" /> Was not impressed with what he had Peckersnot do to gain entry to Kennet.<ref>“That’s kind of the point, isn’t it?” Lucy asked, ignoring Melissa. “That these things come back at us? Sir Toadswallow making Peckersnot kill to show he’s able to contribute?”

“Dang, Toadie,” the goblin Deedee murmured, behind Toadswallow. - Excerpt from Gone and Done It 17.3</ref>

"Nameless Twist"

An adolescent nameless goblin she's to be mentoring.<ref name=":8" /><ref>Left in the Dust 16.6</ref>

The Milkmaid

Good enough friends with the Bogeyman to get information on milk stuff.<ref name=":8">Huffing for breath, Deedee looked up.  “Ben, this is Sir Turdswallow and some nameless twist.  My gang.”
[...]
Deedee twisted her head around until she started squealing, her leg involuntarily kicking in a way that suggested spinal damage.  “And that gal over there with the cow hat, that’s the Milkmaid.  She’s a pal too-”

Ben looked at the bogeyman with the calf skin draping her head, who looked back at him with dead eyes.

“-Got the idea for the milk for Stray Baby from her.”

“Uhhh, sure,” Ben said.

Dee managed to get an arm free to wave.  The Milkmaid waved back, then turned back to watching whatever was going on beyond the fence. - Excerpt from Poke 3</ref> May have invited her to dinner with Ben's family.<ref>“Well yeah, but he’s funny like that. Oh, there was that time, he said, you can’t bring serial murderers over when my family’s visitin’, Dee. It was so sweet, he was trying to be all polite, talkin’ to my friend while his mom and sis are at the table. Oh, and we got first row seats to the Goblin Game. That was a thing. He didn’t want to go, which, like okay. It’s horrible, sure, but the connections you can make!”

“So many connections!” Biscuit exclaimed. - Excerpt from Gone and Done It 17.9</ref>

Mags Holt

Got information on Gerhild for her in exchange for helping Ben.

Kennet Trio

Knows them but isn't great friends.<ref>Snowdrop looked agitated. “She sucks, and her husband’s exactly what you’d expect. She hates the guy, says he’s a small dicked loser who hates her guts, treats her like shit. Everything you don’t want a relationship to be.”

“He’s human,” Verona remarked.

Lucy raised her eyebrows. “Sure.”

Avery explained, “They’ve got a new house with guest room, plus a pull out couch, he’s got a stocked library, he works as a researcher of the practice, actually. Some stuff that gets into the same territory as undercities and other knotted spaces. He has an alchemy setup in his workshop, I dunno if he’d let you borrow it, Ronnie, but if we needed something specific I think he’d be cool letting us access it. But mainly… hmmm.”

“Hmm,” Lucy echoed the sentiment.

“I’m just- okay, fully honest, I can’t imagine that visit being anything but awkward, given we barely know them except kind of barely through Toadswallow-” - Excerpt from In Absentia 21.1</ref>

Description

Deedee has always been able to "almost" pass for human,<ref>Do you want to get your coat, pull your hood up so you don’t scare people? - excerpt from Poke 2</ref><ref>“I told you, I can always use some practices, deflect attention, make sure people don’t look beneath your hood,” he said.  He reached over, hand touching the edge of her hoodie, and the side of her face.

The hood didn’t really protect her.  The people gave them sidelong glances as they walked down the street.  Seeing her for what she was. - excerpt from Poke 4</ref> even as a child,<ref name=":9"/> being tall for a goblin (only a head shorter than Ben Trover)<ref name=":0">She was tall enough for her head to come to his chin, and her mouth was smaller than his, but when she smiled, it could stretch from ear to ear.  She double smiled, by un-retracting her second set of teeth, spontaneously doubling the number of teeth in the smile. - Excerpt from Poke 1</ref><ref name=":3">She was tall enough the top of her head came up to his chin, broomstick thin, and most of her head was hidden behind a dense tangle of coarse black hair.  Past that tangle, her eyes bugged out, her nose resembled something between a bat’s and what the more vulgar might relate to a woman’s genitalia, and her mouth was small, twisted to one side with the tip of her tongue sticking out while she worked.  Her ears were large, pointed, and had razor blades embedded in the scar tissue along their length. - excerpt from Poke 1</ref> and skinny,<ref name=":3" /><ref name=":9">Dee was a skinny adolescent of a goblin, bat-nosed, big-eared, bug-eyed, with fangs poking out of the corner of her mouth.  She fit to human proportions, so she wore human clothes- a lot of fishnets and mesh stuff with a big spray-painted smiley face on her chest. [...] Dee waved a long, skinny arm around at the Warrens. - Excerpt from One After Another 10.e</ref> with a mass of coarse black hair that often has things tangled in it.<ref name=":3" /><ref name=":6">She [worked] to sort through her hair and get the most offending clumps set down into place.  Where hair was too matted or clumped to get her fingers through, she pulled until the offending clump of hair came free of her scalp. [...] She kicked a towel across the floor to get the worst of it, went to the tub where water sat stagnant, not draining, and fished out a tangle of hair as long as her arm, with an unfamiliar tooth and the head from a barbie doll stuck in the midst of it. - Excerpt from Poke 1</ref> What differentiates her are her bulging eyes,<ref name=":3" /><ref>She pouted [...] giving him her bug-eyed version of puppy-dog eyes. - excerpt from Poke 2</ref><ref>“We’re goblins, Ben,” Deedee said, staring at Ben with her large eyes.  - excerpt from Poke 3</ref> which glow yellow in the dark<ref name=":2">She [...] had her hood up, her eyes faintly glowing from within. - excerpt from Poke 4

She peered through the darkness with her eyes narrowed to slits, because they might otherwise be too visible in the darkness. - Excerpt from Poke 1</ref> and can focus independently,<ref name=":4">Deedee’s overlarge eyes darted this way and that with each minute change in the distant sound.  The eye in darkness glowed a jaundiced yellow, while the eye that was in the light dilated and narrowed second by second.  Her ear, lined with razors, twitched. - excerpt from Poke 3</ref> a nose and large ears that would be at home on a bat,<ref>Her bat-like nose had blood running out of it, which she periodically licked at. - excerpt from Poke 3</ref><ref name=":3" /><ref>“The people smell a bit like ass,” Deedee said, under her breath, as she looked at the villagers.  The sides of her bat-like nose flared. [...] She wrinkled her nose, flaring the wide nostrils. - excerpt from Poke 4</ref> and clawlike nails.<ref name=":5">Red for her fingernails and to paint the raw beds where her toenails had been.  The claw-like nails had cut through the ends of the striped thigh-high socks she’d liked best, so she’d used her teeth and had torn them all out in a vengeance. - Excerpt from Poke 1</ref><ref>she began fighting again to get out from behind the couch, nails carving gouges into the floorboards as she fought to find any traction - Excerpt from Poke 1</ref> Her mouth is small, but stretches from ear to ear when she smiles; she has two sets of teeth, one retractable,<ref name=":0" /> with glass, razors and knife blades added.<ref>She was amused by the froth that was produced as she vigorously brushed her teeth; white mixed with blood, bubbling over like the foam of a feral dog’s mouth, before she retracted one set of teeth and redoubled her efforts with the second, being careful around the razor blades and glass shards. - Excerpt from Poke 1</ref><ref>Her mouth, smaller than his normally, stretched from ear to ear, exposing just about every little pointed tooth she had, and a few spots in the gums where she’d lost teeth and worked broken razor blades and knife tips in there until they’d stayed put or embedded into the bone.  She exposed the extra teeth that were normally hidden in the gum line, each emerging at a forward angle, meshing together, before bounding toward him. - excerpt from Poke 2</ref><ref>Ben gave her arm a squeeze, and smiled down at her, and she smiled back at him, showing him every sharp tooth and bit of razor or broken glass she’d wedged between teeth. - excerpt from Poke 4</ref> Her tongue is prehensile.<ref>Crouching in front of the television, she used her tongue to turn it on - Excerpt from Poke 1</ref> She has a scar on one shoulder where a child cut her with a broken night-light.<ref>She rested her head on his shoulder.  His thumb found a groove where she had once been cut with a broken Princess Lilyhugs lamp.  The little brat who had done the cutting had been a fighter.  Feeling him rub the scar-groove made her entire body shiver. - excerpt from Poke 4</ref><ref>His arm was heavy across her shoulders, warm, his large hand settling comfortably there, finger finding that groove of a scar that seemed to exist solely as a resting spot for his finger. - excerpt from Poke 4</ref>

She's adorned herself in a style typical of goblins, in this case embedded razor blades in her ears.<ref>Ben adjusted the position of her head so the razor blades in her ears wouldn’t cut him or his shirt. - excerpt from Poke 1</ref><ref name=":4" /><ref name=":3" /><ref>He reached over and tugged on the tip of her ear to adjust it, so the razor blades wouldn’t rub against his shirt, then touched her hair before dropping his hand down. - excerpt from Poke 3</ref> Her clothes are mismatched and generally stolen, often from homeless people.<ref>The clothes were random things she had snatched from dirty hampers and donation bags near the shelter.

She found some underwear that fit.  The underwear had a name written in it, which made her feel real fucking sorry for this ‘Brynn’ moron who was too stupid, too slutty, or too both to keep track of her own panties.  There was a bra she couldn’t figure out how to do up, so she tied the back in a knot.  She also donned an ankle length skirt, a sleeveless top, and a choker she had taken from a homeless fancy-boy who had been too busy overdosing to watch his stuff. - Excerpt from Poke 1</ref><ref>Her mouth, smaller than his normally, stretched from ear to ear, exposing just about every little pointed tooth she had, and a few spots in the gums where she’d lost teeth and worked broken razor blades and knife tips in there until they’d stayed put or embedded into the bone.  She exposed the extra teeth that were normally hidden in the gum line, each emerging at a forward angle, meshing together, before bounding toward him. - excerpt from Poke 2</ref> At one point, she tore out all her toenails, leaving raw nail-beds.<ref name=":5" /> She normally has body hair, but pared it away with a knife and tugged it out at one point.<ref>“Nobody and nothing.  Shaved my legs,” she said.  She stuck her leg up in the air until her skirt slid down her leg, showing off the lacerations.  Used one of your kitchen knives.  I know you said if I wanted to do anything like that, I should use your extra razors, but big knives are more fun.”

“Then I have to ask, I think, what clogged my bath?  Is it the kind of thing I can hire a plumber to clean up?”

“Pubes,” she told him, suddenly energized again.  “I tugged ‘em all out.  I’m balder than a one year old boy, now.  Want to feel?” - excerpt from Poke 1</ref>

Can pull off being human with Glamour, looking like a very skinny drug addict, but it irritates her nose.<ref>And then, wearing a hooded sweatshirt, a woman with very large eyes, scraggly hair, and a lot of tape over her nose. It created the same silhouette as a bat nose. She stood there, skinny and dangerous looking in a complimentary way. Like how an especially skinny addict could be assumed to be scary because they were probably unhinged, with very little to lose.

“Oh my god,” America exclaimed. “You guys dressed up? I never thought I’d see the day.”

Dee sneezed. “Bleh.”
[...]
“I gotta get out of this getup,” Dee said. “Then maybe crawl into a greasy hole in the ground and consider dying.”

“Mmm, take a picture for Ben-” - Excerpt from Gone and Done It 17.9</ref>

Abilities

• Goblin physiology: As a goblin, Deedee can rapidly heal and recover from otherwise fatal injuries. She knows how to fight.
  • Senses: Can see in darkness<ref>“You might have to squint to see, but if you look there… there’s a suit of armor.”
    
    “I can see in the dark, moron,” she muttered.  She looked and saw it in the corner.  Full-body armor, brown, with etchings.  “I can see it.  Badass.” - Excerpt from Poke 4</ref> in fact her eyes glow<ref name=":2" />, this is in addition to being able to hear/feel/smell threats.<ref>Deedee could feel the dull, unrefined malice drilling itself in between her shoulderblades as she left the girls behind, and saw Ben glance back, aware in his own way that something was fucky.
    
    “Evil eye,” Deedee murmured.  “Probably born with it, but cyclops bitch doesn’t know how to use it.  She could do a lot of damage if she did.” - Excerpt from Poke 4</ref><ref>“So I could say I did it.  Now, if that’s the number two fucker-”
    
    “I have good ears,” Deedee said.
    
    “-It does things a thousand times more fucked up.  Things I wouldn’t touch,” Cockgnash growled.  He glared at Deedee, “Happy?”
    [...]
    “I have to,” Deedee said, dead serious now, her eyes wide.  “Because I can hear some goblins between us and home, and you gotta believe me, I’m pretty fucking sure it’s life or death, that I’m able to say this.' - excerpt from Poke 3
    
    [Note: this was an elaborate prank, but still constructed out of true statements, and Ben found it plausible.]</ref><ref>Dee turned her head, her ear twitching beneath the hood.  She wrinkled her nose.  Bad feeling, and it wasn’t the old woman.
    
    Absently, she reached for the weapon she’d given Ben earlier.
    [...]
    She wrinkled her nose, then lunged for the weapon, snatching it up and slipping it over the fingers of her right hand.  Four splintered spokes of wood stuck out, held rigid by the part that extended into her closed fist.
    
    Coming closer.
    [...]
    He had a heavy neanderthal brow, which forced his eyes to be perpetually half-lidded.  The eyes were otherwise normal, but as far as Deedee was concerned, they could have been black with sheer boiling hate, given the vibes she got from him. - Excerpt from Poke 4</ref> She claims to be able to see the real relationship between actors on TV.<ref>“The actor playing the boy-slut and the actress playing the uptight bitch started dating in season three episode four and that’s when you first see the glimmers of the ‘they gonna fuck’ energy.  Then by season three episode seven you get the hardcore ‘they fuckin’’ energy.  I don’t think it could be any more obvious than if he’d forgotten to wipe the pussy glaze from around his mouth before stepping in front of the camera.  But episodes were fucking clearly filmed out of order because the ‘they-fucking’ energy fucking zig-zags, which really fucking throws you if you want any fucking continuity.  Fucking inconsiderate.  But if you go to season four, you get to the ‘hate-fucking’ fucking energy, so clearly they had problems-”
    
    “How do you even know this?”
    
    “Because you can learn to see these things.  Especially if your fuckbuddy is an incest wizard and you put in any effort.” - excerpt from Poke 1</ref> She can sense when a person has cancer and what kinds.<ref>The woman was the kind of old that made her face very interesting, with bushy eyebrows.  She had a scarf covering hair and a knobby growth at her neck that Deedee could sense with her Other kinds of awareness, and an old fashioned, ankle-length black dress that hid fat and two different kinds of cancer. - excerpt from Poke 4</ref>
  • Item Crafting: Can create items for various uses, for instance using her prehensile tongue to craft a cursed knuckle duster,<ref>Poke 4</ref> or making a knife teddy bear.<ref>The goblin put down the black garbage bag she had slung over her shoulder. She pulled out a stuffed animal that was very clearly modified by a goblin. Barbed wire collar, one eye was a button, the other looked like it had been taken from a taxidermy set, and was disturbingly realistic. She squished it down, and a knife blade poked out of the head. “It’s got a knife inside. You can always use another knife.” - Excerpt from Left in the Dust 16.6</ref>
  • Catlike Agility: Dee can move with exceptional speed and flexibility, helping her to hide from humans.<ref>Acting on learned instinct, deeming the distance between couch and balcony door too far to cross, she scrambled for cover instead, hiding. [...] He turned to find the light switch, and she retreated deeper into the recess behind the couch while his back was turned. [...] It took him twenty minutes to clean things up, and she didn’t move a muscle as she watched him go about his business, getting everything sorted again.  [...] He seemed ready to collapse on the couch, but stopped himself at the last minute, hand going out to the couch back, making it rock and inch closer to the wall.  Behind the couch, she remained silent, even as it pressed in against her ribs and made breathing hard. [...] She squirmed around to try and get her head beneath the couch, found the space too narrow, contorted further to try to force it, and ended up in a contorted position where she couldn’t even breathe for two long minutes, before she worked her way back down to a regular lying-down position.  She suppressed every gasp for breath and cry of pain to remain wholly silent, even though it meant seeing stars. [...]
    
    He scooted forward to reach for something, and the scoot gave her the half inch of gap she needed to slip free from her confines before he sat back again.  She was out in a flash, and then crouched beneath the arm of the couch, chin on her knees, eyes wide, as he settled down.
    
    She waited until he wasn’t moving anymore, then crawled the rest of the way out of hiding, on all fours at first, her movements stiff. [...] She coughed, then jammed her fingers down her throat to try to clear the jam, which made her gag and cough more, all without progress.

“What the hell?” was the surprised cry. - excerpt from Poke 1</ref><ref>The process saw her move with eerie fluidity onto a tabletop, using both hands and feet, without even glancing at where she was going or taking her eyes off Mags. - excerpt from Poke 3</ref><ref>I can stick to shadows, I’m a good creeper, but I don’t know what this is about. - excerpt from Poke 4</ref>

• Information: Something of an information broker, able to find information for the right prices, at least when it comes to goblins.
• Urban adapted: Able to effectively operate in urban environments without major inconveniences, uncommon among goblins.<ref name=":7">Deedee liked these dark corners of the world.  Places humanity-as-usual didn’t tread.  It was easier to move around here than it was in the city, where pipes were flush with clean water underground and she could feel it, much like she could feel the power running through power lines above, and the wind through ventilation.  It felt like a binding circle that was all around her, three-quarters of the way complete, like someone could finish drawing it at any time.  For many goblins, it was enough that they didn’t go too deep into the cities, or they stuck to parts where power didn’t run and storm drains were clogged.
  
  Not here.- excerpt from Poke 4</ref>
• She can transplant her keen goblin senses to humans, letting them borrow her abilities.<ref>But while she’d been distracted, Deedee had already collected the hairs in question, and applied them to tape.  A finger pressed the tape to Verona’s nose and pressed it firmly down.
  
  ...
  
  The smells exploded out from everyone there.  Sweat smells, food smells, mixed smells, clothes smells, smells of places they’d been.  There were smells that were casualties of being victim to goblin pranks and tricks and there were smells that were there because people had interacted with others who’d been victim to pranks and tricks.- Excerpt from Gone and Done It 17.9</ref>
• She's able to detect wards.<ref>That shit’s warded, and if you could see it the way I see it, you’d be able to tell.  I’ve taken it on myself to remind practitioner’s kiddos that things that go bump in the night can get ’em too.  So I had to learn.”- Excerpt from Gone and Done It 17.9</ref>

Weaknesses

• Goblin Physiology
  • Charged metal- She in vulnerable to crossing charged metal. She notes that, like most goblins, underground plumbing makes civilized places uncomfortable for her - although it's not enough to keep her out of them<ref name=":7" /> (her boyfriend's place has running water.)<ref name=":6" />
  • Anti-Goblin Magic- In one instance she was unwillingly captivated by some unidentified kind of an anti-goblin stone that an Aware lady had used accompanied by a chant.<ref>Reaching into a pouch on her belt, the woman held out a stone.
    
    A very, very interesting stone.  Deedee tracked it with her eyes.  It was shiny and somehow filthy while being pure, and it was big.  It pulled at her.
    
    In a tone like she was pleading but angry, the woman began ranting in German, waving the stone around.  Deedee followed it, her head whipping around to keep the stone in the center of her vision.
    [...]
    The woman ranted until they were out of sight.  Deedee craned her neck around, watching the stone until intervening obstacles meant she couldn’t anymore.
    [...]
    "I okay.  What was that stone?”
    
    “Don’t know.  I could try asking what they used to do about goblins, though.” - excerpt from Poke 4</ref>
  • Hypersomnolence - As a goblin Deedee sleeps far more than a human, comparable to a cat.

Chronology

Before the Story

Her early life is largely unknown, at sometime she met up with Turdswallow and Bubble. She's old enough to remember when it was common for children to be abandoned on doorsteps.<ref>“But there’s historical president for it!  Babies get left on doorsteps and outside fire houses.  I know because I saw it happen!  It was the best times for goblins, because we could snatch ‘em up before anyone noticed.” - excerpt from Poke 2</ref>

When she was much younger she helped a human girl dealing with an abusive father in a very final matter, later the girl followed her into the Warrens.<ref name=":11">

- Excerpt from One After Another 10.e</ref>

Sometime later she began harassing some human stud, obviously showing him she was interested, they eventually started shtupping.

After Pact

Tried to show her fuckbuddy that she could share his interests.

Had to deal with an ungrateful fuckbuddy when she showcased her problem solving skills vis-a-vis child rearing.

She led her fuckbuddy through the Warrens to meet Mags Holt to get some boring questions answered.

She went with Ben to Warzenberg Seat and ended up having to keep him from being eaten.

Pale

Showed up for the opening of the Kennet Market.

She helped Verona sneak into a motel full of Musser's allies. Later confronted America Tedd with toadswallow and bubbleyum.

Trivia

• Deedee is the second Goblin to have a viewpoint chapter, appearing in Poke.

References

<references/>