Sir Toadswallow

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   <default>Sir Toadswallow</default>
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   <label>Alias</label>
 
 
 
 
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   <label>First Appearance</label>
 

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Sir Toadswallow is the euphemistic alias<ref>“Sir Toadswallow,” the goblin with the monocle introduced himself, giving them an insincere smile.

“Toadswallow. Is that toad and swallow or toads and wallow?” Verona asked.

“Activities best enjoyed when it is both at the same time, girl. It’s a stage name,” he said.

Lucy crossed her arms. “What kind of stage?”

“I work with children,” Toadswallow said, before giving her a wide smile that showed all of his teeth. - Excerpt from Lost for Words 1.2</ref> of Sir Turdswallow, a Goblin.

Personality

TS is an intelligent goblin who has carved out his own niche, arguably as self made as anyone can be. While naturally intelligent or cunning as goblins are usually described he has taken the time to educate himself as well. He collects tricks that he keeps up his sleeve for a long time. Has a wide range of experience.

Toadswallow has learned to serve as a "polite" goblin for Practitioner children to practice interactions with his kind.<ref name=":2" />

Relationships

Apprentices

Teaching Cherrypop and Bluntmunch to work with children.<ref name=":2">“When a practitioner drops a bit of meat from their nethers and wants to teach it to deal with goblinkind, they like to have goblins they’ve met and made deals with beforehand for the practice and initial lessons. They summon, I go, they pay me.”

“You might get better business if you didn’t call the clients nether-droppings,” Lucy said.

Toadswallow smiled, and it was so fake it looked like someone trying to smile for the first time and doing it badly… with added fangs. “My most regular summoners seem to have misplaced their books, and I have some time to myself. I’m training some of this lot to do the child-work. Cherrypop is the noisy little foetal deposit here in my hands. The big one is… let’s call him Bluntmunch.”

The big goblin groaned, low, long, and drawn out. - Excerpt from Lost for Words 1.2</ref>

Kennet Trio

Impressed with the girls, <ref>“The good news is, little britches,” Toadswallow said, “We’re happy, we’re pleased. We’ll teach you more if you want to learn. Unanimous.” - Excerpt from Out on a Limb 3.7</ref> thinks they are very smart and capable.

Trying to make Snowdrop a bit more goblin.

The Tedds

Some of nether droppings he's taught, they were impressed with him and are very fond of their uncle toad, he in turn cares for their well being. Even if he's cautious around them as practitioners and because of their father.<ref>“Are they holding America here?” Toadswallow asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Our dame was expelled but she didn’t go home.  She didn’t go to the local jetsam-of-dry-land.  Her sister doesn’t know where she is.”

“Are you close?” Lucy asked.

“Taught them the beginnings of what they know.  I’m Uncle Toad to them.  Fine, distinguished young ladies of the upper crust, until I got to them.  They liked what I taught enough to pursue it as their specialty.”

“Their dad isn’t a big goblin mage?”

“Some.  And many other things.  There’s a reason they haven’t called him.” - Excerpt from Gone Ahead 7.2</ref>

Bubblecum

Sir Toadswallow and Bubblecum have a tumultuous relationship with, they're currently letting it cool as she's currently off being a familiar now.<ref name="lurve">“Remember what I said about war and fighting, my dears?” Toadswallow asked, voice guttural. “I dare say the matters of men and women, men and men, women and women, men and sheep-” [...] “-It’s messy. Especially the goats. It doesn’t get less messy. You find someone to wallow in the mess with you.”

“That’s a worrying phrasing, with your name and everything, Toadswallow.”
[...]
“Do you have anyone?” Avery asked. “Is there a Mrs. Toadswallow in the cards? Or Mr.?”

“Sometimes there’s a someone. But much as I said, it’s sloppy and messy. Life pulls us in different directions. She’s a familiar right now and I won’t see her until the fist-biting chump she’s partnered with slips from this mortal coil.”

“I’m not sure what to say to that,” Avery said. “If I wish you luck I’d be hoping for the guy to die.”

“I dare say that being at a loss for words is a fine response to something a goblin says,” Toadswallow remarked. - Excerpt from Gone Ahead 7.2</ref>

Deedee

Met when they were both much younger, he gave her a lot of help and she gave him advice and more. She's the reason he ventured into other places and started tutoring. While it started as a debtor relationship it seems to have bloomed into a genuine friendship.

Appearance

Sir Toadswallow has a waistcoat and monocle. His fat belly has nails sticking out from the inside. He's smaller than a human<ref>She could see the things in the bushes. Small, ugly, and twisted. Something she might have taken as a stone in the corner of her eye was a figure too lumpy and misshapen to be a person. Three other things were perched on him, one maybe a girl, tiny with red-stained skin, her expression twisted into a permanent scowl, then a fat one with what looked like nails sticking point-out from the inside of his belly, wearing a waistcoat and monocle, and a scrawny one with a nose like a pickaxe. - Excerpt from Lost for Words 1.1</ref> and fanged <ref name=":2" /> with knobby, clawed fingers.<ref>The goblin with the monocle wrapped his hands around the littlest goblin’s lower face, knobby fingers with pointed claws interlacing. - Excerpt from Lost for Words 1.2</ref>

He is rather fat, and he jiggles while he walks on his too short legs.<ref>Toadswallow was round, with legs a bit too short to be practical, and he crossed the street at a run that required him to rock from side to side to get his legs up enough, while periodically touching the ground with one hand to keep from tumbling or sprawling. - Excerpt from Lost for Words 1.5</ref>

Abilities and Art

Allegedly knows many and varied tricks.<ref>It was only Toadswallow, who was catching up, a cloud of nose-burning gas surrounding him, the gas bladder stuck to his hip, and… no Cherrypop. She was either being sneaky, or she’d run off to notify people.

Toadswallow had more gadgets and tricks. That was his thing, maybe. Bluntmunch hit things, Gashwad messed things up, Cherry was useless, and Toadswallow… he knew the tricks, he collected them.

He spiked a wooden box onto the train tracks.

Rats and mice spilled out. Way too many for the box. - Excerpt from Out on a Limb 3.8</ref>

He has a large amount of knowledge about many different areas of practice.

His weapon form is a single boxing glove filled with tricks, him and Bubblecum form a matching set.<ref>The ‘soggy handshake’ was Toadswallow’s weapon form.  Goblins could become weapons, and his was something akin to a lone boxing glove resembling a very full diaper in consistency.  A heavy shackle locked it to the wrist, which let him mess with whoever had their hand stuck inside by having something writhe against the hand.  It also stored an improbably large number of random little goblin tricks and trinkets.  Glue bombs, screaming doll heads, capsules of suspicious looking brown paint, a Mother Tick from the warrens… distractions, easily fired off from the wrist with a slap of the free hand.

He’d worked with Bubble to match in that regard.  He was the right hand, she was the left.  Mismatched pugilist’s gloves. - Excerpt from One After Another 10.e</ref>

Called a knob by other goblins<ref name=FCB>– Toadswallow. 3ish feet tall. Described as a ‘Shitter’
[...]
Toad is a ‘knob’ - Faerie Courts & GoblinsFaerie Courts & Goblins</ref>

Seems particularly found of flatulence and related products,<ref>Poke 3</ref> even claims a mastery of Flatus and other anal secretions.<ref name="flat" />

Tools

Has a huge amount of tricks and similar that he keeps in an undisclosed location, TS is able to use Warrens to access it and not worry about losing anything.<ref>Toadswallow unbuttoned his top button, reached into his vest, and dug into the mud he kept wet and close to his body, between fabric and shirt.  Clawed fingertips traced a circle and he reached into that circle, arm plunging into the hole there, to withdraw a stinkweed, growing out of a pot filled with specially treated manure. - Excerpt from One After Another 10.e</ref> Compiling an exhaustive list of everything he has been seen to use would be neigh impossible.

Chronology

Before

He was born in the middling Warrens and was immediately required to fight against others of his kind. One of his first lessons was never to show weakness.

Met his friend Deedee's fuck buddy Ben'T'over. He feigned shock over finding the depth of their relationship but he was not actively disapproving.

Arc 1: Lost For Words

Sir Toadswallow, as well as other goblins including Cherrypop, attends the awakening ritual of Verona Hayward, Lucy Ellingson, and Avery Kelly. He and the other goblins consumed the offered meat.

Got into trouble when escorting the trio to John's house.

Return to Kennet

His long term plan was discovered by Lucy thanks to the manipulations of Crooked Rook.

Trivia

• How his names are parsed is a matter of debate in fandom. Should it be t---s-Wallow or t---Swallow.<ref>“Sir Toadswallow,” the goblin with the monocle introduced himself, giving them an insincere smile.
  
  “Toadswallow. Is that toad and swallow or toads and wallow?” Verona asked.
  
  “Activities best enjoyed when it is both at the same time, girl. It’s a stage name,” he said. - Excerpt from Lost for Words 1.2</ref>
  • It should be noted that he claimed to swallow amphibians,<ref>“Ahem!” he cleared his throat, lying on his back. He floundered for a position where he could sit up. “Ahem. I’ve had a literal frog in my throat for days now, little blaggard has been fighting to avoid being swallowed. You cleared me right up, and he’s swimming in the old digestive juices now, kicking up a storm. Good show.” - Excerpt from Gone Ahead 7.1</ref> further given his knowledge of underwear stains he would be familiar with such wallowing.<ref name="flat">“Something’s up,” Toadswallow said. “Butty laid down a prime crop-duster earlier, the sort that makes flowers wilt and gives brain damage to babies.”
    
    Butty, still face-down in the pavement, shirtless and sweaty, wearing only a lime green thong, giggled, high pitched, his entire body jiggling. Nat, meanwhile, pulled her hair free of Toadswallow’s grip. She grabbed a bit of fallen sign and tore at it with her hand, giving Lucy, Verona, and Toadswallow wary looks.
    
    “Why does this fart matter?” Lucy asked.
    
    “It was as redolent as it should have been, but not as lasting.”
    
    “You keep track?” Verona asked.
    
    “I am an esteemed expert in matters of vital expulsion. Rest assured,” the monocle-wearing goblin told them. “If it comes from the body and can leave stains, I know more than enough.”
    
    “Fair enough,” Verona told him. - Excerpt from Back Away 5.1</ref><ref name="lurve" /><ref name=FCB/>

References

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