Editing Self (section)

== Self==
The Self includes every part of a person - the Soul and Spirit, but also the personality, [[Visceral]] body, [[Connections]],<ref name=":23" /> and [[Name]].<ref>Names are a lynchpin in the composition of our being.  You’re going to suffer if you don’t fill that void. - [https://pactwebserial.wordpress.com/2014/07/12  Excerpt] from [[Signature 8.2]]<br><br>“In theory only.  I’m curious how this works.  You ''degrade''?”<br><br>“No name, nothing at the center of my ''self''.  I think it’s like the metaphysical equivalent of taking ten pounds of flesh out from within someone’s ribcage.”<br><br>“So take a new name.  Replace thy flesh.”<br><br>“That doesn’t help the fact that I don’t have many connections.  If I have too few and they get severed, or if they grow weak-” - [https://pactwebserial.wordpress.com/2014/07/19 excerpt] from [[Signature 8.5]]<br><br>“-I name myself Mags.  By this, this remnant of my old name, I claim my Self, I claim my strength, and I deny Maggie Holt from taking anything further.  I give up what I have lost, and I hold to what I still have." - [https://pactwebserial.wordpress.com/2014/07/24 excerpt] from [[Signature 8.7]]</ref>

A Practitioner can build up a stronger Self over time.<ref><nowiki>[</nowiki>[[Lucy]]] focused on her Self, that she’d been trying to shore up as a power source.  - [https://palewebserial.wordpress.com/2020/10/03 Excerpt] from [[Back Away 5.1]]</ref>

===Spending Self===
The Self is the "default" source of [[Power]] for fuelling [[Practice]]<nowiki/>s. If not paid for with some other kind of power, most Practices will draw on the Self, usually drawing equally on all parts of the Self. Thus leaving them a bit weaker in personality, body, connections etc.<ref name=":23" /> 

If one lacks the power for a Practice, attempting it may simply have no effect, or drain them to the point of passing out and risking grave harm to their Self.{{Cite}} 

Using [[blood]] to power a practice draws on the blood donor's Self,<ref>Blood is power, basically the most distilled and direct form you can offer.  The caveat being that when you deal with some Others, you give an inch, they take a mile.  And you don’t want them taking a mile of your blood or personal power. [...]  Remember that every second that you’re using your blood to keep it here, you’re making yourself just a bit weaker.  - [https://pactwebserial.wordpress.com/2014/01/25/damages-2-3-2/ excerpt] from [[Damages 2.3]]</ref> especially the physical side of their self, leaving them physically drained.<ref name=":23" />

===Self-Care===
Doing favorite activities, those one likes, helps heal the Self;<ref>“Zachariah?  Perhaps you should lie down?”<br><br>He nodded, sitting on the bench.  “I told them I was good to try it.  Not their fault.”<br><br>Their tutor nodded.  “I suspect it’s fine.  I just don’t want you to suffer.  Be sure you eat well, sleep well, do something you enjoy tonight, okay?  Shore up your Self.  Don’t do anything that draws too many spirits into or through you.” - [https://palewebserial.wordpress.com/2020/09/19 Excerpt] from [[Leaving a Mark 4.9]]</ref> Blake Thorburn for example, speculated that helping people nourished his soul in a very literal sense.<ref>Like the witch has her black cat, kind of.  You could be alive again.  And I think you’d be ''you'', because you’d take a little bit from me to stay whole.  I’d… I’d like to think I’d take from you too.  Because helping you, like someone once helped me?  It might nourish my soul, my ''being'', if that makes any sense.” - [https://pactwebserial.wordpress.com/2014/04/03 Excerpt] from [[Collateral 4.12]]</ref> Similarly being around or in familiar and comfortable objects or places,<ref>“It’s ''okay'',” she said.  “Not great, but okay.  Is this wise?  Inviting people?”<br><br>“I don’t know,” I said.  “No clue at all.  But I’m drained, and if I’m supposed to recover personal power, reaffirm my identity and refuel myself where I was drained, well, getting my bike keys back made me feel a hundred times better than any night’s sleep I’ve had this past week.  Maybe seeing my friends will help.”<br><br>“I can get behind it, if that’s your reasoning,” she said.  “Since I’m obviously not socializing, I can sit and read.” - [https://pactwebserial.wordpress.com/2014/03/04 Excerpt] from [[Collateral 4.1]]</ref> like one's home, have a similar effect.<ref>“I don’t mind,” Avery told her.  “I have enough siblings I got pretty used to it early on.  Feels a bit like home.”<br><br>“That’s important,” Jessica said.  “Feeling at home helps heal the Self, which you need after a stint in the Ruins.” - [https://palewebserial.wordpress.com/2021/01/02 Excerpt] from [[Gone Ahead 7.9]]</ref> A good meal can also be valuable.<ref>We really do need to eat.  Feed the Self. - [https://palewebserial.wordpress.com/2021/01/12 Excerpt] from [[Vanishing Point 8.2]]</ref>

A Practitioner might bolster their wounded Self by infusing it with [[spirit]]s, [[echo]]es, or other immaterial forces. However, it is important that whatever is added fits with their Self and is minor enough that the Self can overpower and integrate it; if it doesn't, it might taint the core of their being and/or fail to take altogether. Side effects can include infused Spirits altering one's appearance, or echoes carrying false memories. In some cases, the Self will cause issues as it fights the infection; causing amnesia in an attempt to wipe out echo-created memories, for instance.<ref>Missing Self can be boosted with Spirit. May ‘pollute’ us if not aligned to our usual Self.  Weird appearance & side effects. Other forms of bolstering Self come with similar issues.  Echoes will juice more civilized, ‘human’ stuff (if those echoes are human.  I had to ask Mr. Palaisy)… but because Echoes are essentially juiced up collective memories, they’ll have a much bigger effect on OUR memories.  Pollution can be sneaky and dangerous because it rewrites us at the core of our being, like mad-science DNA teleporter stuff and flies except it’s not our bodies that change.  The wrong thing can throw off our whole balance, and in the really bad cases, our Self gets so desperate for equalibrium that it overcompensates and goes too far the other direction.  Putting out the fire with a flood, or responding to the fire by putting out ALL fires.  Got too many false memories from echoes? BAM, Self took initiative and fixed it by purging your memories of the last year.<br>
The GOOD side of bolstering Self is that it charges up most things about us.  It makes us stronger, braver, more important, and better at practice.  Which  sounds great, but the problem is that:<br>
A)  It must blend!  If it doesn’t mix into US, it’s less of a cyborg upgrade and more of a knife jabbed into us.
<br>B)  Big boosts tend to have minds of their own.  Often literaly!!<br>
So we gotta pick the right sources of power & take small steps, we gotta suffer the side effects and any pollution, or we stay really formal.  Deals & duels make the You juice more cooperative, apparently.<br>
- [https://palewebserial.wordpress.com/2021/01/14 8.2 Bonus: Soul & Self]</ref><ref>Echoes can patch up the Self if matched well, but rarely mend flesh and they may even slow that healing. - [https://palewebserial.wordpress.com/2021/01/09 excerpt] from [[Vanishing Points 8.1]]</ref>